My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
