Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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