She tied me up with her honor cords...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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