I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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