Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
