Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
