so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
