we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
