i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
