"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
