i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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