now i know why i became what i already was.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
