no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
