they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
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What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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