dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
