You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
