direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
