i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
im holly from the hills drunk
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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