In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
