there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
