fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
