Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
