I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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