I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
