no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
