yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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