do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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