What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
