I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
