shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize