In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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