Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
