She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
