you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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