there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
