One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
