DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize