69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
