Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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