I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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