uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
