Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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