Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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