i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
