i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
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Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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