Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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