Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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