I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize