I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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