apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
