Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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