Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
