i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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