What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
