I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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