That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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