Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
