It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
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So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
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Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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