do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
