im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
