oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
