She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
